Dating Tips for Men: I'm Shy, How Should I Approach Dating?

It goes without saying that taking a girl out can be a nerve-wracking experience. Many women think this simple act comes so easy to men, but the truth is the very thought leaves many men shaking in their boots. And some men think the same thing, looking at other seemingly more confident men and wondering what is it that they have that makes dating women seem so easy?

The truth is if that scenario sounds all too familiar, rest assured those men don't have anything more than you do. If you fall on the shyer side of things when it comes to dating, use these handy dating tips for shy guys and sooner than later you too will be able to enjoy the fun and excitement that comes with dating. Even when you are shy!

The Details:

• Stop thinking of yourself as Charlie Brown chasing the little red-haired girl. When you think of yourself as the guy who is never going to get her, that's exactly how you are going to come across as well. So stop thinking of yourself that way. To you, maybe, easier said than done, but changing your perspective will change the way she looks at you because now she will be able to notice you more!


• Remember that you have "nice" on your side. Nice guys don't actually finish last; they finish first, which is why her No. 1 complaint is that all the nice guys are already married. Prove her wrong.

If you have shy on your side, then you also have nice on your side, which means you will be really good at all of those sweet little things that will sweep her off her feet. If you are trying to get her to notice you, do one of those nice, sweet little things that will have her noticing you sooner than you think. Consider it the 21st-century means of carrying her books for her.

• Always make eye contact. Eye contact is the No. 1 way to do well on any date or with any social situation. When you are on the date with the girl, make sure that you maintain eye contact while you are chatting with her. She won't bite, and this little nonverbal cue will send her the message that you are really into what she has to say. She will think you are one of the most attentive and sweetest men that she has met if you just listen and make eye contact.


• Stay in your comfort zone. When it comes to meeting women, ask out the women who are already in the places you are familiar with. This will help your confidence level, and if they already know you or know who you are, they might be more inclined to go out with you.

Also, when you are taking your dates to places, take them to places you are comfortable with and familiar with. Informal open-ended activities where there is plenty to look at and do, such as an open-air market or fair, are great ice breakers for a first date because conversation flows organically. Many people think dinner is a great first date, but it actually is a tough one because you are forced to make conversation with someone you don't know very well. Make it easy and something fun you both will enjoy.

• Have conversation starters ready before the date. You may never use them, but if you have them, then at least you have a small insurance policy in your head before the date actually arrives.

The nerves before a date with a girl are the worst part of the entire date, but if you can prepare yourself beforehand, you will not feel so lost during the date. Make sure your conversation starters are questions, and try to stay away from yes-and-no questions. Ask her open-ended questions so that the conversation starts rolling easily. Women do like to talk, so if she is filling up the chatty space, then take that as a good sign that she likes you too, so much so that she wants you to know everything. That's a good thing.

• Prepare, but don't rehearse. You don't want to look like you are trying too hard, but you also don't want to look like you don't have a clue how to be on a date. Visualize conversations with her in your head with your conversation starters, but don't practice them verbatim.


• Remember that she's human too. Shy men think that because they find it difficult to approach women that this must mean most women are unapproachable. That is simply not the case.

Women are just as human as anybody, and the last thing a good woman wants is for a man to feel uncomfortable around her. Remember that your date is just as human as you, and she would probably be touched to find out that you were even nervous around her at all. Just relax, and make the day all about her, and when she knows how much trouble you went to in order to do that, she will do everything she can to make you feel as comfortable as possible.

The Bottom Line:
When it comes to dating tips for shy men, the bottom line is that most shy men are their own worst enemies. They psych themselves out thinking they don't stand a chance, when the truth is that the sweetest, nicest girl is probably just waiting for them to ask her out. Just relax and prepare yourself as much as you can beforehand, without over rehearsing the process.